Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Taking a P ...

No ... this has nothing to do with restrooms.

Although I will finally say this.  Just over a year ago my HR department decided to change the 2 restrooms at my facility to unisex restrooms rather than having a separate men's room and ladies' room.  Both are single toilet facilities with locking doors so there was never an issue of privacy.  The reason the HR rep gave was in essence to make restroom use a non-issue for everyone.

Tiffanie's brain heard, "Because there is now a transgender person in the facility we cannot force her to use the men's room, but we ant to avoid hearing complaints of her using the ladies' room."

This hurt.

I did not ask for this, but EVERYONE thinks it was me.

I mean, it was more than 6 months after I announced my transition at work and began really being me.  Why was it suddenly a potential issue?  Nobody I know of complained.

I waited until now for 2 reasons.

In my office
It is very likely that people from my work read this blog.  I don't really care if they do.  I speak my mind, I never mention who I work for so I am not defaming any person or the company.  I did not want to make an issue over something like this.

Actually, I have never asked for or expected any special treatment.

It is truly the exact opposite ... I wanted to be treated normally.  So many in the company do exactly this.  They treat me like they did three years ago or more.  I appreciate them soooo much.  There are so many new people in the company that they have only known Tiffanie and not the other facade I presented.

 The only concession I every asked for is understanding.

When I first went on estrogen I told several people that I was basically going through puberty again ... I was going to feel like and maybe act like a teenage girl.  I had no clue how I would act ... and truthfully, there was a period where things became very rough, although this was not completely hormonal ... it was depression and PTSD driven.

The first time I went hormonal at work the understanding I received was a comment, "We've all learned to control our moods and emotions.  I expect you to do the same."

Really?

You controlled your mood swings and behavior 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years into puberty?  I really want to talk to your parents, teachers and siblings.  I do not know of any teenager, male or female who has gained control of their new feelings in a matter of weeks.

Today my doctor prescribed me progesterone.  This shouldn't be as bad from what I've read ... but everyone is different.

I wanted to start it 6 months ago, but I was not in a good place mentally ... and I told him that.  I also told him everything I read and acknowledged that there does not seem to be any conclusive evidence on either side of the issue.

He seemed a little impressed that I went in with information from articles studies  He went over some of the negative possibilities and stated he prefers to not go the progesterone route, but it is up to the patient.

But here are some of the potential positives ... Slight increase in breast size, possibly more full looking - Possible increase in energy, more efficient use of fat for energy - Possible lessening of anxiety, a calming feeling - Possible more regular sleep patterns.  There are more, but those top my list

He wrote the prescription and said to monitor myself and stop taking it if it is causing adverse effects.

He does ask why I haven't changed my name or gender legally yet every visit.  I really want to tell him that nobody is willing to give me the nearly $500.00 to do this, but I know he is trying to encourage me to proceed.

My next appointment is in 6 months.  Maybe ... just maybe this process can be underway before I see him again.

To celebrate a day together and a successful appointment Pam and I ate at Sushi Fresh in Ventura.  We rarely go there, but today we deserved a treat.