So I'm sticking with my plethora of disconnected rambling thoughts theme.
Really there is nothing specific to tell you about ... it's more like a bunch of thoughts and issues that all seem to happen at the wrong time.
I will start off with my 2 week progesterone update.
I am really not as moody as I thought might happen, or like others have encountered ... well ... I am moody, but I think it is caused by so many other things that are going on at the same time,
What I have noticed physically ...
Hold on. I know some people don't want too much personal information, so plug your ears for a minute or so. Well, I guess, you need to plug your eyes ...
I have gained 12 pounds in just over 2 weeks. A big part of this is the fact that I find myself craving certain foods that are neither healthy or low calorie. I am not shoveling buckets of food in my mouth, but I am definitely dealing with a different level of , OH MY GOD!! I HAVE TO HAVE THAT!!!" that I have never experienced before.
The extra weight is obvious when I step on the scale because ... well, because the number is higher. The extra weight seems to be collecting more in my boobs and butt rather than just on my belly.
And when one of the side effects of progesterone says, "May cause breast tenderness" this is an understatement. It needs to say, "They will become so tender that you will feel it if somebody looks at them for too long."
I'm sure things will get back to normal as my body adjusts.
So why am I moody?
Where do I start?
Pam's front tire went flat last week. This caused a sequence of events that made my one remaining nerve begin to fray.
- Fighting with the spare tire to dislodge it from the trunk. I mean ... I broke a freakin' nail, had a small laceration on my forearm and aggravated my elbow which has been sore anyway. Then, while planning on how to get the car to the tire shop because the stupid spare is in bad condition it was like Pam and I were suddenly speaking different languages. We were saying the same thing about needing to tow the car and I drive her to the shop, but we just weren't grasping what the other was saying
The tire fiasco set us back somewhere around $200. I won't add the "Your front axle needs to be repaired" amount.
- My tooth has been bothering me for a while ...
Well, I have more than one tooth ...
It would be better to say that I have a tooth that has been bugging me for a while. Somewhere just before Pam's tire gave up my tooth decided to try harder to get my attention.
We have wanted to switch dentists since our last visit 3 or 4 years ago. I went to the list and decided to search for a female dentist. No particular reason ... well, I do feel a little more comfortable talking to women even on dental issues.
When I called to make the appointment I gave all my legal information, then I said, "There's one more little thing ... " It is so cool that everything on my records refer to Tiffanie rather than him. My legal name does have to be on certain documents, but there is no awkward adjustment period going to a new doctor.
It is a bit of a plus that she is kind of good looking, but that did not play into my decision.
And why is it that most dentists and optometrists seem to be less than average looking? It's like they are thinking, "I'm going to get into a job where I'll spend most of my time mere inches from someone's face so they have to look at me."
I don't want some faces that close to my eyeballs ... I don't like anyone that close to me, but if they have to be can't it at least be someone halfway decent looking?
So I find out that the last (and only) cavity I had filled was very close to the gums. There is now some decay working under the filling causing my pain.
I already have an appointment to get a crown. Personally I would prefer a tiara *rolls eyes* This is another $600 that we don't have.
So as of right now my "Get my name and gender changed" fund has gone from $0.00 to negative $800. This is not the most frustrating aspect of the issue, but it is just another obstacle between me and a goal that I truly want.
- All of this has been exacerbated by an environmental study being done at my bus yard. This group is drilling 10,563 holes and taking soil samples to test for ... well, I probably don't want to know what they are testing for.
So every day I am hearing this extra noise on top of the noises from shop, the airplanes taking off from the airport and the other businesses in the complex.
The last few days the drilling, jack hammering, and all the other heavy machinery was just outside my office wall.
It has been a week of sensory overload beyond comprehension.
This may actually be a part of why my tooth has hurt so much more this week ... I have been clenching my jaw so much that everything is sore from my navel up to the top of my head.
I did get a chuckle when the lead worker told us that he had a probe stuck in one of his holes and didn't want a bus hitting it.
On the brighter side. My brother and sister in law stopped by for a visit. It was nice to have a visit that doesn't include family emergencies or other frantic events that have everyone on edge. They brought down the Christmas gifts ... yeah, it's been that long since their schedule has been calm enough to manage a trip here.
My brother is running a marathon tomorrow. I hope it goes well for him.
*** Epilogue ***
The bulk of this entry was written Saturday evening. I do know my brother finished his marathon.
Today I went for a walk in a local botanical garden while Pam visited her mom. The walk was nice, but proved to me that my assessment of my fitness level was spot-on. The effort of walking up even a small hill on a half mile loop killed my legs and bothered my knee a bit. The stress was enough to get me wheezing the same way that running did a few years ago. My pulse never raced and I didn't get winded, so all is not beyond hope.
Pam's mom wants to know why I didn't come in and visit afterward. Until a few weeks ago she did not know about me being transgender. After the Bruce Jenner interview Pam found a moment in a conversation to tell her about me.
I will need to visit her.