Monday, December 22, 2014

What could I update? ...

So I've been driving myself crazy lately ... well ... many things have been driving me crazy, but how I react to these things is the icing on the cake that is life in general.

I have several blog entries that have started as "Updates ..." or "Happy for ..." but as the words appeared on the page they morphed into a quagmire of frustration and unresolved issues.

It's not that venting about the things irritating me is bad ... it's just ... I don't know.  I know good things have happened ... I have accomplished things ... I have had happy times, but all these positive moments are surrounded by frustration.

Katniss discovers a rose
from the president in her home
A very creepy scene
I truly want to make an effort to recognize and talk about positive things ... the brief moments that brighten my day.

But really ... what might seem pleasant or innocuous to some may not be so enjoyable to me.

I won't ... I can't stop talking about the troubles ... the pain ... the challenges and difficulties that are very much apart of life.  I can look for the tiniest of bright spots even in the darkest of times.

This time of year seems to bring increased tension ... tension, anxiety, animosity ... what ever.  'Tis the season, I guess.

A few weeks ago Pam and I went to see Mockingjay part 1, the latest Hunger Games movie.  I really do not like going to the theater ... the noise and the crowd ... the rude and talking people, but I really wanted to see this.  Movies are a brief escape from reality ... a temporary distraction.  This movie is one of the very few that I was willing to chance the crowds for.

Well ... there was no crows.  There was only one man sitting halfway up the seats.

There was also no volume.  Pam went and complained.

It was a very good escape.  We will likely see it again soon ... very soon.

This series ... the books and the movies just click with me.  I'm really not sure why.  Maybe it's the implicit (or somewhat obvious) references to depression.  Possibly it's the overt parallel to society today ... the government uses the people to survive while pitting the districts (or different ethnic groups, religions, wage classes or whatever) against each other.  It could just be a good series of stories.

During a long day at work last week, Pam called and wanted to go to lunch.

It's likely a sad commentary on how things have been going, but my first thought  was something must be wrong.  Why would she drive to Oxnard for lunch?

She just wanted to spend time with me ... and I definitely wanted to spend time with her.

I generally like don't like restaurants for the same reasons I don't like theaters, stores, parks, beaches, sidewalks ... ... in general, anywhere in public.

It was between the typical lunch and dinner crowds, so I figured it may not be too bad.  We went to Yolanda's Mexican restaurant ... we both love their food.  We sat at a table looking across the ocean ... well, more like across a half empty marina a mile or more from the ocean.  It was still a nice view.

Despite the time we went it was still noisy ... more accurately, the three men at the bar were loud, the other two small groups were across the restaurant and I couldn't hear them over the other sounds.  The cacophony that consumes even a relatively empty establishment is amazing.

It was still nice to have a break in the day ... time away from the office to relax.

There are definitely many little things that I see, hear or do often that keep me from going totally insane.  Sometimes it's a seeing a nice post or compliment on Facebook, other times it's simply knowing that efforts that are not advertised across the internet are appreciated.  Yesterday it was a sunset.  For the first time in a long time I grabbed my camera and ran ... or walked ... maybe limped to the back yard to document the beauty.

Do the good moments outweigh the bad?  Probably ... I hope to notice them more often.