Friday, December 26, 2014

All I wanted for Christmas ...



December ... ... dear lord, choose a year.

Christmas was likely one of the most anticipated and fun holidays as a child.  It was truly about the excitement of the gifts ... well, at first.  As I got older I liked giving gifts as much or more than receiving.

I could rattle off dozens of stories about my sister driving me around to look at Christmas lights (more likely she was getting my brother and I out of the house to give my mom and dad a break, but ... ) ... going to the Esplanade mall to see the giant obviously fake tree, visit Santa, see the puppies in the pet store and get an Orange Julius ... sneaking out to see the presents only to see that my dad was "sleeping" in the chair (I think every sibling has a story like this) ... Playing with my brother in the bedroom while waiting for the others to wake up, and ending up slammed against a dresser standing on my head and trying not to laugh.

I could also talk about the year I freaked out because the Santa that visited the house had huge black eyebrows.  I didn't react horribly until he left, but I knew he wasn't the real Santa ... My dad being stressed and edgy during the few days he took off through the holidays.  This often led to frustrated outbursts and hurt feelings ... the griping and bickering that stems from boredom.

Nothing is all good ... nothing is all bad.

As the years went by I found a different level of enjoyment in the holidays ...  and a different level of frustration as well.

The joy  of watching my son relishing the magic of Christmas ...

The frustration of the crowds ... the shopping ... the lack of money.  Maybe the biggest frustration was the fact that Pam, Tim and I never really had a special day the way we planned.

My days off were often non existent as the company expected me to work the holidays so I could accomplish more.

Pam was asked to work Christmas pretty much every year despite being scheduled off.  She so truly wants to help people ... truly wants to make them happy, and people take advantage of her.  She has done so much for so many over the year and usually gets treated like dirt for her efforts.  I think the first year we spent Christmas morning together was the year she was off work due to her depression.

The last few years all I've wanted was a quiet and relaxing holiday.  Time to unwind, recharge and enjoy some calm "do nothing" break ... it just never seems to happen.

It doesn't really matter why ... last year my mom had surgery, the year before I had surgery ... it just always seems to be something.

This year Pam and I spent yesterday together with my mom doing nothing ... we spent today just like yesterday and if everything goes right, tomorrow will be the same.

It isn't perfect.  Pam is feeling a bit yucky and I am getting a scratchy throat.  We didn't do dinner at my sister yesterday evening, my brother and his family won't get their holiday stop in because we may be contagious. I do think this is the first time in ??? hmmm, maybe the first time ever that we have several consecutive days to ourselves.

It is relaxing ... I am enjoying it.