Saturday, July 6, 2013
So at some point ...
At some point I realize that my family will stumble across this blog ... or be directed to it. They may be reading it already and I just don't realize it. Whatever the case they will likely be hurt or offended by some of my ramblings regarding their rude behavior ...
It may not be 100% accurate fact, but it is my perception of how things happen and the effect their behaviors and comments have on me and Pam ... and I don't care if they know. In fact, if they saw how they act through other people's eyes they may actually try to treat people better.
So let's start with Wednesday -
I stayed home from work. I had such a horrible headache and could barely sit up. I truly believe the thought of my visiting family has disrupted my sleep and affected my mood more than the hormones I am taking ... but it is not relevant. I just felt like crap.
I stayed in bed 'til almost noon ... didn't help.
Pam and I needed to run an errand ... or needed to get out of the house to be precise. Nobody had arrived yet, but we both already stressing. I still wasn't feeling very well, but going out with Pam is always good medicine.
During our excursion Pam gets a text from our sister in law ... They were barely leaving home and expected heavy traffic - don't wait for them to have dinner.
The drive for them is usually about 2 1/2 to 3 hours ... and the last time they left later in the afternoon they stopped and ate on the way. This was a bit of a relief because we really didn't have anything to fix that would feed a larger group.
Pam dropped me off at home and took Sedona to town to go grocery shopping.
A few minutes later I get a text ... The group is almost here.
Now I suppose this would be a good time to mention that, even though I could likely quote most of the conversations verbatim, I am paraphrasing most of what was said.
I thawed some meatballs while Pam and Sedona picked up spaghetti, sauce and bread.
The group arrived and began the traditional loud invasion process. "What's for dinner?"
I'm not sure who actually asked this, but I just stared.
Pam and Sedona arrived shortly thereafter.
As I worked at dinner the bulk of the group was trying to assemble a tent ... horribly funny, but too long of a story to tell now.
After dinner I was sitting at my computer ... one person said thank you ... Pam.
One brother, two sisters, one brother in law, one sister in law, 5 nieces, three nephews, my mom and a baby said absolutely nothing about the dinner ... not a "thank you," not a "good job," not even an acknowledgement that something had passed through their mouth and was satiating their hunger.
The baby has an excuse ... he only drank milk.
By later that night the usual fun and noise making ensued. I don't mind the kids having fun, but I still was feeling a bit yucky, and everything was annoying me. I finally took my sleeping pills in the midst of a conversation with Pam, my brother and his wife and excused myself to the bedroom.
Thursday I didn't feel much better ...
I woke up to the sound of the air conditioner turning on at 9 in the morning.
WTF?? Why is it on so early?
This was followed by the parade of people opening and closing every door they could find in the house while talking loud enough for the people next door to hear.
I get up and stagger to the kitchen where I'm greeted by the question, "Are you getting the pork ready?"
Now there has been an ongoing joke about the pork because it is labeled "Pork Butt." Insert all manner of "rubbing my butt,""picking my butt,""tenderizing my butt," and so forth. I suppose this may have been a poorly timed, non humorous comment ... but it rubbed me the wrong way.
I closed the patio door.
I emphasize the closing of the patio because we have an air conditioner. The purpose of the air conditioner is to keep the house tolerable when it is hot outside ... and it was pretty hot Thursday. The patio gets very warm, especially in the afternoon. Leaving the patio door open causes the air conditioner to run constantly.
I went to my computer and sat down ... the patio door was open again.
I closed it again.
I stumbled into conversation with my brother, sister and mom. They were talking about the AC and the electric bill being so hi, so I said, "If the patio door stays open it doesn't what you set the thermostat at, the air conditioner will run constantly."
I closed the door again ... and again ... and again.
I was in the kitchen preparing the meat and closed the door another three times. By the time I stopped counting I closed the door 13 times ... and that does not include the times I walked in or out of the house.
I got the pork cooking ... nothing fancy, basically a slow cook on the grill after an initial searing.
I went to the bathroom to take my hormones ... the sink was totally clogged and full of water.
Did anyone mention the sink was clogged?
No ... they just expect me to take care of it. I poured draino in the sink, then went and took a nap.
After I got up I threw the hot dogs on the grill, checked the temperature of the pork ... ... Yes, I stuck a thermometer in my butt ...
My brother cut the meat and others set out the salads and plates ... but nobody said thank you. Only two people even commented on how well they liked the pork. Pam, and my sister from Florida.
I felt so under-appreciated ... It must be the hormones ... or the fact that my family expects their visit here to be a full vacation for them and Pam and I to be their wait staff.
Pam and I ducked out in the evening to see some fireworks. There's a parking lot near the high school where we planned on parking, rather than pay the entrance fee and sit in the crowded stadium.
Well ... it sounded good.
I could not believe the number of cheapskate freeloaders crammed into this lot just to save a couple bucks. They were all in my way ... how dare they. Luckily Pam and I found a nice spot that was not under a streetlight, so I took a few nice pictures.
Friday I was feeling a bit better, but not much.
All I wanted to do was rest. And that's what I successfully doing ... I took another nap, was feeling a bit more human. There was no work, no cooking to do.
The menu for Friday night was nachos ... tortilla chips with the yellow snot of death poured over the top. Quick and easy. So simple the kids could do it ... but ... ...
While I was napping my sister in law decided that nachos was not an adequate meal. We needed to have taco meat or something. I didn't want to cook ... I shouldn't have to cook again ... there are 5 days worth of leftovers, plus the yellow snot ... why do I have to cook?
She walks into the house after returning from town. "The hamburger is in the fridge on the patio."
I said nothing ... I was thinking, "Really? That's nice. Why are you telling me? Who's going to cook it?"
I did cook it ... again nobody thanked me.
There is actually a bit more to this story, but only friends in a specific group know what I'm talking about. I'll just say that I can still keep a straight face, but I was laughing inside.
I have truly avoided talking about Barb, my sister from Florida, somewhat intentionally.
She has been a godsend. I hope someday she reads this blog to know how much I truly appreciate her help around the house this week.
My mom has enjoyed having conversations with her.
She treats me and Pam both with respect.
It was nice to reminisce, talk about our lives, have fun and not feel like I am being judged or treated like I am less important..
Barb actually apologized for the communication mishap about her arrival time and sleep arrangements ... it was not her place to do this. She told people, but the people she relied on failed to follow through. It shows a level of character and respect that seems to be missing from others.
I had a lapse in judgement today with Barb.
She wanted directions to a business near LAX. I pulled up google maps and, after clarifying the address, showed her the satellite view and the map ...
I was on this account ... me ... Tiffanie ... not the name she calls her brother. I know she noticed. She did not question or comment ... She did disappear with my brother and sister for a while a bit later. I kind of hope she tells them what she saw ... but I would hope that she would continue to show me respect and ask me what is going on.
I will tell her.
When she left to go to the airport tears welled in my eyes. Goodbyes have never been emotional before.