Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Wow ... !!!

It's wrong ... Really, it's just wrong.

The countdown timer in the right column is wrong!!  I'm not going to see my endocrinologist for my first visit on Friday ... I am going tomorrow!!

How am I going to spend an entire day worrying and going mental when I don't even have a full day notice of the appointment change?

Anyway ...

Somewhere around 7 weeks ago I set some goals ... here's the update:

1 - 1 more laser treatment.  The few dark hairs which are mostly on my upper lip and chin are a real bummer.  I must get rid of them before my appointment.

Yes ... I had a complete clearing at a very high laser setting.  I also pulled out my old Tria home laser and have begun giving myself treatments on my chest

2 - Because of how heavy I am, I can safely lose 3 pounds per week ... 21 pounds before the appointment.

Yes, but barely.  It was never really about the number ... it was about focusing on better eating.  I did.  If I had not reached the number, but managed to eat better I would still be happy with myself.

3 - I will start to exercise regularly.  Build a bit of a cardio base.

Not even close.  I am moving more, but my thoughts of walking even a few times per week did not happen, but that;s alright.  I will not make excuses, I will simply try harder next time.

4 - I will think of one positive thing to come from this appointment every day.

I will say yes.  Even though I stopped posting my positive thought of the day relatively quickly after starting it, the thought of the appointment helped me get through some very stressful situations.

So here it is, the eve before the biggest step in my transition ... and I have a strange, serene feeling building inside of me.  Not that I'm not a tad nervous, but it is not overwhelming.

It's almost like I have found my way through the labyrinth and I am grasping the doorknob to the rest of my life.

It's time to open the door.

In a manner that has been so typically me I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best ... In the not so distant past I would expect the worst, and usually found it.  Perhaps the serenity I am feeling is hope ... hope that what lies ahead is the world I've been dying to live in my entire life.

I figured that the night before my appointment I would be babbling endlessly ... ranting and raving about everything.  I cannot seem to find the words to describe exactly how I'm feeling.