Wednesday, March 13, 2013

You're not getting rid of me

I know what you're thinking ... It's not Saturday and it hasn't been 3 weeks, how can I possibly have an update now??

Several things have happened since Monday and I just wanted to give a quick recap.  The first two stories I copied from a Facebook post, so if you've read them skip to story 3.

OK ... This really isn't a big deal, but I had a couple of cool situations the other day.

1 - The other day I had to drive an afternoon school bus route. The last run was special needs high school kids. All the kids and the teachers thought I was female because of my looks. Before I left, I needed to ask the kids to fasten their seat belts (darn voice) and one of the kids asked if I was a guy.

I wasn't going to lie and say yes, but it would be a round about way of outing myself if I said I was female, so I dodged the question. During the ride I overheard part of a conversation ... the boy who asked me my gender said to one of the girls, "I think she might be a guy. But we shouldn't judge her, some people are like that."

That was very accepting and tolerant ... but special needs kids tend to be more accepting than regular ed kids.

2 - I was grocery shopping (where I forgot honey and bread ... darn). After I paid the cashier asked, "Do you need help to the car, miss?" I was so flattered. I couldn't believe I was treated like a lady ... ...

Then I said, "No thank you." which left the poor guy looking totally bewildered (darn voice).

3 - I can either tell this as one story or break it up into several small stories ... ...

My wife, my son and I went to visit my mother in law at the home she is staying in.  On the way there Timmy (my son) and I talked a bit of Mixed Martial Arts.  Ironically he brought up Fallon Fox.

Who is Fallon Fox you ask?  She is the female fighter who very recently came out as a post op transsexual.  The conversation itself was not of interest except the fact that neither my wife nor my son could decide whether Fallon was a he or a she, then my wife giggled and jokingly said "It."

The comment itself did not offend me because I knew she was joking, but it did get me thinking.

After lunch we dropped Timmy off, picked up our mail and headed home (somewhere in an earlier post I explained the complicated living arrangements).  Waiting for me in the mail was an invitation for my 30th high school class reunion.  For only $100.00 per person I could go spend an evening with people I disliked and who wouldn't give me the time of day for 4 years ... ... I don't think so.

Amongst the papers in the envelope is a form I can fill out about what I've been up to if I cannot attend ... and they ask that I attach a picture.  My wife said I should send a picture of me as Tiffanie ... I laughed because I was seriously considering that.

On the way home I rehashed the transgender fighter issue.  I explained the effects of estrogen on the body and basically stated that due to weight divisions there is not physical advantage for her having been born a male ... Then I asked my wife if she really thought Fallon was an it.

She said no, and asked why I asked.

I said I worried that she thought I was an it.

She asked if I wanted to have a sex change operation.

I said the only reason I would consider changing my genitalia would be if she left me, otherwise there is no logical reason for me to need that surgery.  There was a short, silent pause.  Then I said, "I want to make an appointment with the doctor to discuss the reason I'm in counseling.  I want to ask him if he'll start me on Spiro."  I didn't say the name, but explained what it was for.  I explained about the "different wiring" between male brains and female brains ... and that possibly if I lower the testosterone it might help with my anxiety and depression issues.

No some of you might be saying, "Hey, you said you had this talk last July or August."

Well yes ... yes I did.  But it was left in a strange state of limbo when it came to hormones.  She said she really didn't want me to take them while at the same time telling me that she would support anything I needed to do to be happy ... including surgery ... so ...

So She looked at me and said she loves me.  If I want to be a woman she still loves me.  If I take hormone she still loves me.

I about cried ... definitely teared up.

Then she said, "You're not getting rid of me.  We have a great relationship, and I love it.  I don't care if you're a woman, that's not going to make me leave you."

I told her about the friends I have on Facebook where the wife left because the husband came out or was transitioning.

 She seemed very sad about that, then said, "You're not getting rid of me that easily."