Friday, December 7, 2012

Stress, Pain and Exhilaration

 So I'm not going to waste a lot of your time explaining that my wife and I are pretty nervous about the upcoming surgery ... DUH!  This is a temporary delay to my ultimate goal to transition ... and not much of a delay in many ways ... mostly it will delay talking to my doctor about hormones.  I don't want to go through such a harsh surgery, but I do not want this tumor in me any more ... it's strange, When I didn't know it was there I was fine, but knowing it's there bugs me.

I had my first laser treatment on my mustache and beard area the other day.  If I had to describe it in two words they'd be "Oh My God!!" ... OK, that was three, but it gets the point across.

Laser treatments are not fun to begin with, but laser on your upper lip, the dense hair on the chin and by the ears brings all new meaning to the word "Intense!"

I used the numbing cream, so it was not that it was unbearable ... but it was a type of discomfort I had never experienced.  And as I found out, you use the numbing cream the laser just turns up the juice to the laser.

So she starts on the sideburns ... right by the ear (Duh).  The popping of the laser and the sizzling sound of frying hair was very loud ... and a bit amusing.  I broke into chit chat quite easily and was comfortable in girl-talk mode ... it was a nice distraction to what I was feeling.  The strange thing was every zap of the 3000 or so was painful yet exhilarating.  I knew and felt myself getting closer to my goal with every pop.

The following day I went to see my counselor.  She told me that she looked into the waiting room and wondered who the lady was sitting on the couch.  I'm thrilled since I'm not living full time ... yet, but it makes me want to go in full femme mode to one of my next appointments.  The majority of the session was spent talking about how Thanksgiving went and my concerns about surgery.  I just need to get this big issue out of the way so I can focus on my transition again.