Monday, July 16, 2012

Not a lot to say

Short of bemoaning all the tiny things that plague my daily existence such as work, family, lack of money and a few other things, I don't feel I have a lot to say.

I still have not called for a consultation with the laser hair removal place because I'm just a chicken.  I mean, let's forget the pain and the finances for a moment ... if the beard goes away, if there is no more shadow or stubble then Tiffanie becomes much more apparent or visible to everyone.

But isn't that what I want?? ... ... ... Yes, but I'm scared to actually do it.  What if somebody guesses what I'm doing before I'm ready to tell them?  What if I actually pass as a female?  I've already been "ma'amed" and "missed" ... this might actually make more people see the female hiding behind my frightened eyes.  But it is what I want ... but not just yet ... I think ... or maybe the sooner the better ... I just don't know.

The conflict continues ...

I am a very amateur photographer by hobby as well as an extremely novice writer of poetry and short stories.  At one point both writing and photography were outlets for my imagination.  I still write from time to time ... and still love photography, but with my most recent emotional funk I have found it difficult to do either on a regular basis.  Rather than relive another flashback, I will post a story from my archives.  Most are very short stories (750 words or less) or poems.  I hope you enjoy it ...

*** *** ***

Carrots and a Class Reunion

Snap … crunch, crunch, crunch. Jen twisted the remaining chunk of the carrot stick between her fingers. Crunch, crunch. “I am totally sick of these things.” Shards of carrot shrapnel bounced about the table.

“So, why are you doing this?” Brianna drizzled ketchup over her basket of fries.

“Hello Bri,” Jen snapped. “Remember my five year class reunion?” She popped another vegetable morsel into her mouth. “I am so going to wear my skinny jeans.” Crunch, crunch.

“The ones in your closet?” The young friend glanced at Jennifer’s waist and hips. “Uh-huh … And when is this reunion?”

“Three days.” 

Bri rolled her eyes. “Fine. You eat your rabbit food.” She flicked a carrot splinter across the table at her roommate. “I’ll finish off the Haagen-Dazs.” A smirk spread across her face. “You know eating a lot of those things can turn your skin orange.”

Jen grasped her curly blond locks as she attempted to muffle a scream. 

“Have you even tried them on lately?”

Jen huffed, “No.” She tossed her remaining vegetable chunk onto her plate. “But I know they’ll fit.”

“Oh … this could be interesting.” Brianna rested her chin on her hand. “How sure are you?”

Jennifer sat in silence for a moment. “If they fit you’ll save the ice cream until after my get-together and we split it.” She grinned. “Deal?”

“And if they don’t?” Bri drummed her fingers on the tabletop.

Jen just stared.

“How ‘bout if they don’t fit, you give them to me?” Brianna laughed.

“Oh … no way,” Jen said. “You’re not getting my jeans.”

The two young ladies marched down the short corridor to Jennifer’s bedroom.

Jen sat on the edge of her bed, sliding her legs into the pants. She hopped onto the floor, tugging frantically as she inched the jeans over her hips. “See … no problem.” She smiled.

Brianna gawked for a moment. “Um, you haven’t zipped them up?”

“Well …” Jen squirmed, tugging at the zipper.

Brianna giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Jen grunted. She bounced around in a rhythmic manner, still yanking on the stubborn fastener. “I can get this…”

“Jen, don’t hurt yourself.”


The zipper pulled up. Jen’s hand slipped off the tab, shooting up and smacking her in the forehead. “Oof.” She fell backward onto the bed, her legs nearly rigid from the tautness of the pants.

“Oh my gosh … Jen.”

“See, Bri?’’ Jen slid back to a standing position. “Told you they still fit.”

“Very nice, but you still haven’t fastened the waist.” Brianna snorted, trying not to laugh.

Jen grabbed the waistband and pulled the ends. “I’m telling you …” Her eyes bulged as she released a pathetic squeak.

“Maybe if you hold your breath …” Brianna chuckled.

“I am.” Jen’s squeaking words were barely audible. She fell back on the bed again.

Brianna burst into outright laughter.

Her roommate groaned as she sucked in her stomach. “I think I got it.”


“See … I told you they would fit.” 

“How could I have doubted you?” Brianna rolled her eyes. “And you look absolutely fabulous.” She turned and walked out of the room, snickering all the way down the hall.

“I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.” Jen smiled. “Hey, um … Bri,” she called to her friend. “Can you help me stand up now?”